EP 87: Dad Guilt : The truth about why fathers don't feel like mother's do

The Truth About Why Fathers Don’t Feel Guilt Like Mothers Do Why does mum guilt feel constant and crushing — while dads seem to move through life with far less emotional weight?

In this episode, I break down dad guilt vs mum guilt, not from a blaming lens, but from a nervous system, conditioning, and role-expectation perspective.

This is not about who cares more. It’s about how men and women are wired, socialised, and stressed differently after becoming parents. In this episode, I cover:

• Why mum guilt is constant, intrusive, and emotionally exhausting

• Why dads often don’t experience guilt in the same way — and what they experience instead

• The difference between anticipatory mental load (common in mothers) and compartmentalised stress (common in fathers)

• Why mums feel like they can never fully switch off

• Why dads can go out, exercise, socialise, or rest without the same internal conflict

• How guilt shows up differently in male nervous systems — often as withdrawal, shutdown, or overworking

• Why this difference causes resentment in marriages after children

• How misunderstanding this gap slowly breaks emotional connection

• What couples need to stop assuming about each other

• How understanding dad guilt properly can reduce conflict, resentment, and emotional distance What most couples get wrong Mothers often assume: “If you don’t feel guilt like I do, you don’t care.” Fathers often assume: “If I’m providing and showing up practically, that should be enough.” Both assumptions quietly damage the marriage. This episode explains what’s actually happening underneath, so couples can stop fighting the wrong problem.

Who this episode is for

• Mothers who feel constantly burdened by guilt and resentment

• Fathers who feel misunderstood, criticised, or emotionally shut out

• Couples struggling after becoming parents

• Anyone who wants to understand the emotional gap that appears after children

Key takeaway Guilt is not a measure of love. It is a stress response shaped by biology, conditioning, and responsibility load. When couples understand this, they stop attacking each other — and start working as a team again. If this episode resonates, share it with your partner and listen together. I’m Sharanya V, and I help couples and parents build emotional and mental wellness in the middle of the chaos of life.